Crocodile Tears

It, at first, sounded like a terrible accident but as details of one one mans horrendous ordeal at the jaws of a 12ft Alligator emmerged all became very clear.

It took four brave members of the Polk County Sheriffs Department to pull Adrian Apgar, 45, free from the mouth of the hungry beast after receiving reports of a mans screams in the early hours.

What's the problem ? I hear you cry. Well consider this little gem from the Polk County Sheriffs Office as reported by BBC News Online - .

"Police said it was unclear why he was in the water in the early hours, but he had admitted taking crack cocaine."

I'll tell you why he was in the water being mauled by Alligators at four in the fucking morning, because he was high on crack, thats why.

Going Down

The companies network servers haven't worked for the last two days, meaning I have access to email and the World Wide Web only, no spreadsheets or Finance systems. Hasn't impacted on my job too much.

This WWW thing certainly loses some of its appeal when you take away the pr0n aspect of it. I mean I like BBC News as much as the next man but there only so much bad news about Iraq I can take before I need to surf over to www.megajugs.com and get some daily exercise. Sadly I can't do this in work - fucking open plan office bastards !

An early finish yesterday and I can't see me hanging around too long today. Three cheers for modern technology.

Almost Dead

At least it feels that way. I've returned from Manchester, lovely place by the way, with a stinking cold, headache and sore throat. To be fair I can't blame this on Manchester or any other part of England I passed through as I was feeling ill before I left. I've bought all manner of stuff to try and help me recover, all of it fucking useless - you know the kind of crap; pills, blackcurrant flavoured hot drinks, sweets. Even Vic ointment.

Didn't do fuck all either.

I hate being ill, it makes me sick.