Thursday, July 31, 2008

Courage Of Their Convictions

I wish more people had them to be honest. Dan O'Neil certainly has, but it would appear his fucking editor doesn't.

The South Wales Echo was besieged by biggoted divs (the word div comes courtesy of Stewart Lee) from the lunatic sky fairy group Christian Voice the other week. They are complaining, or should I say pissing and moaning like the bunch of retards they are, that the following snippet from a Dan O'Neil column was, yawn, blasphemous.

This Jesus feller swans around all day with a dozen other blokes. No women. Mark that, no women. And he wanders off into the mountains now and again to spend quality time with his, uh, favourites (Mark.9:2). He picks up small boys and girls and puts his hands upon them (Mark 10:16) And he was seen in a garden when one of his mates came up and kissed him (Matthew,26:48). Suspicious, eh?

It's similar to the Sam Kinison joke that you know Jesus wasn't married, because he was allowed to hang about with his mates for a month and not return home.

But if you read the above paragraph in it's proper context, it's clear that Dan wasn't having a pop at the baby Jebus, but was in fact wondering -

How would this fanatical Hammerer of Homosexuals, leader of a bunch of annoying bigots have interpreted events in Palestine a couple of thousand years ago?

As the article leads with.

Amazingly Bird-Shit Green, gathered his band of unhappy, guilt ridden arseholes and marched straight down to the Echo offices to demand the crucifixion of Dan O'Neil. Of course the editor of the South Wales Echo couldn't wait to hand over his journalistic integrity, as this apology shows -

It has come to our attention that in an article on Wednesday, July 16, headlined ‘If God considers gays and abomination why did he create them?’, our columnist Dan O’Neill offended a number of Christians . We would like to apologise for any offence caused to those people who believe the article insulted the Christian faith, Jesus Christ and the Holy Bible.

This isn't the most annoying thing about this though, I drive past the Echo offices every day and wouuld've happily mowed these sheep down.

That's a story nobody would've complained about.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

They Sikh Him There . . .

That fucking kid won her appeal against being told what to do when in a state school. Un-bastard-believable. I'm furious about this, a school has a no jewelry policy but that is not acceptable to some because they believe in fairy tales, so they are allowed special treatment.

It's fucking unreal this. I'm gonna start calling myself a satanist and insist I should be allowed to sacrifice animals, no fuck that; people, at my desk in work. If anyone disagrees, I claim "discrimination" and it's off to the courts with a bag full of tax payers cash !

Will someone please find the balls to stand up to this retarded shit, I'm fucking begging you.

The irony of all this is that she's sooo fucking ugly, the jewelry is completely wasted on her.

Honestly, face like a bulldog licking piss of a bangle.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Sherbert Fountain

I'm sat here eating, if that's the word, a Sherbet Fountain for probably the first time in 25 years and it's not as good as I'd remembered. I'm sure that it's way smaller than it used to be (yes I'm aware I may have grown during the last quarter of a century) and the ratio of liquorice to sherbet is skewed massively in favour of the sherbet. I like sherbet but without the liquorice to access it, it's redundant within the snack.

Overall, a nice drop of nostalgia but it's no Topic to be honest.

Next week, those paper U.F.O.s with fizzy shit in 'em.