Friday, June 27, 2008

Muslims On A Train

I've read reports recently that Muslims, suprise, suprise, are now complaining about the use of sniffer dogs after complaints that it is "against Islam". Apparently the only thing that isn't against Islam nowadays is blowing shit up.

There's an easy solution to this mind; put up signs outside the stations informing passengers that sniffer dogs are in operation and all passengers may be subject to search. You can also add a caveat that if this seems unacceptable to you then maybe you should take a fucking cab instead.

Or put up a sign that reads "Sniffer dogs will remain in operation as long as Muslims keep blowing things up."

Just stop fucking kow-towing to these fucking idiots, you cowardly spineless fuckers.

Fuck it, free skateboards for all Muslims - what ? that's against Islam too ? What a fucking suprise.

Monday, June 23, 2008

George Carlin

He's only gone an bloody died ! George Carlin, or Roofus to the Bill & Ted Fans here, has sadly passed away at the age of 71.

Carlin, suffering from chest pains, was admitted to hospital Sunday morning but passed away at 5.55pm PDT.

He'll be sadly missed.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Du Du, Du-Du-Duuu I'm Hating It

I was leaving ASDA yesterday lunchtime, when I passed the disabled parking spaces and noticed one of the parking spaces was occupied by a car without a disabled badge. This isn't a rare occurrence nowadays, but this car was occupied by a grossly fat family of four, all wolfing down McDonald's as if they hadn't eaten for a week.

My fucking blood boiled, I can tell you.

They've put up large signs in and around the disabled parking bays, because the fucking huge yellow wheelchair signs painted onto the parking bays themselves couldn't be seen, presumably as they were all covered over with McDonald's rubbish, but who knows.

I wanted to cube the car with them still in it. Fuckers.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Hating For Jesus

Feel The Christian Love
"The victim of a homophobic assault has called on the DUP's Iris Robinson to resign over comments she made about homosexuality.

The Stormont health committee chair has condemned attacks on gay people.
But in an interview on Friday, she said as a Christian she viewed homosexuality as an abomination and that gay people should seek counselling.

Stephen Scott, who was assaulted by three youths in Newtownabbey, said her comments "disgusted" him.

Mr Scott said Mrs Robinson's comments had made him feel worse.
"I certainly will not rest until she stands down for what she's done, because she's made my life hell since her comments,"

Have you no empathy you fucking horrid cunt ? The man was attacked and assaulted purely on the basis of who he chooses to love, but being a bigoted fuck you can't appreciate that can you ?

Every time a fucking faith-head opens their mouths on TV they serve as a reminded to all rationalists just why it's so fucking good not to believe in a giant sky fairy - because you end up sounding like this stupid fucking cunt.

As a secular rationalist I find Christianity an abomination and that people who believe in a Jewish Zombie should seek counselling.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Another Missing Child

I have recently discovered the terrible news of yet another missing child, this time that of a young man, which obviously doesn't warrant as much press coverage as a small innocent girl.

The son of a single parent, Jesus as he is known has been missing now for over 2000 years, even though a global organisation known only as C.H.U.R.C.H. has been established to find him, they are no closer now than they were all those years ago when he originally went missing.

It is believed that Jesus was last seen in Golgotha and may have been talking to Roman soldiers, possibly asking for directions or the time, but there have been other sightings such as Bethlehem, Jerusalem and even as far as India and in one instance a piece of toast.

If you have any information regarding Jesus dissapearence please contact GOD.

That's Not All Folks !

It's The Stupid Muhammed Show
With the advent of more Muslim ire over the drawing of some more cartoons, the Norwegians responded by drawing some more cartoons.

I've also noticed that these cartoons are all black and white. Lets get some colour cartoons printed up and we should be able to get these idiots spontaneously combusting in the street, mid protest, as they froth at the mouth over some imagined slight on behalf of a known child rapist (yes Muhammed I'm looking at you here).

But it makes you wonder just how backward are the contries these idiots are from ? I mean who gets worked up about a badly drawn cartoon from Norway ? You'd think this kind of ranting would be done by the lunatic fringe wouldn't you, but, whilst they may well be lunatics, fringe they are not. Here's a few quotes from Pakistani politicians on this matter -

"What is terrorism? Terrorism you commit an act, and thereby invite a strong reaction. And that reaction when it gets into spin it is uncontrollable. Similarly this hurts the feelings of the Muslim community all around the world, and therefore I think in a way it is an act of terrorism." - Pakistan’s ambassador to Norway, Rab Nawaz Khan compares cartoons to terrorism.

"It isn’t just the people of Pakistan that feel they have been harassed by what your newspaper has begun, I’d like to know if your newspaper is satisfied with what it has done and what it has unleashed? Danes know that they have insulted people around the world by printing and reprinting the Mohammed cartoons, which were done in poor taste." - Pakistan’s ambassador to Denmark Fauzia Mufti Abbas justifying the bombing of a Danish Embassy.

I think there's only one way to counter this kind of thinking; more cartoons, this time in colour !

Monday, June 02, 2008

Britain's Got Talent

Won by a fucking fourteen year old break dancer.

Welcome to 19-fucking-80 folks !

I'll bet that dog was absolutely gutted, and I reckon even the dog knew that break dancing was shit. Now I'll be the first to admit that I've never seen the show and that's a position I'm more than comfortable with, especially in the light that the show was won by a break dancer. He also beat a Hip Hop dance crew (more fucking break dancing ?) as well as a martial arts duo (why didn't they fuck up Simon Cowell) as he body popped his way to the £100,000 prize money.

Now I wonder what will he do with this, so called, talent ? As far as I'm aware there isn't much call for break dancing nowadays and even at it's height I can never remember much call for it.

I reckon he'll have 'coked' away his £100,000 in no time and will embark upon his new career of rent boying by the time he's twenty.