Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Bad Phorm, Old Bean.

Is this just a Phorm in a tea-cup ?

"I say old bean, would you mind awfully if I sold off your personal web browsing habits to a content specific advertising agency ?" asked Mr Phorm.

"What ?" I replied, wondering if I'd heard the gentleman correctly.

"Your browsing habits dear chap. I'd like to flog them onto advertisers who'll then bombard you with adverts who's content will be depend on what web sites you've been browsing." answered Mr Phorm, looking a little less self assured as I peer intently at him.

I pondered this for a second. Had I miss heard?

"Why would I want that ? I spend way too much time on porn torrent sites, downloading stuff I couldn't afford, so presumably I'll be getting content specific advertisements for porn DVDs. DVDs, I might add, that I can either not afford or already own ripped copies of."

I saw Mr Phorm squirm at this point, beads of sweat forming on his head as he mentally looked for an "out" of this conversation.

Adjusting his bowler, Mr Phorm continued ; "Well, it's a little more complicated than that Sir, plus it'll not interfere with your web experience . . . "

"It already has, Mr Phorm." I countered, moving fluidly inside Mr Phorms guard before he was even aware an attack had occurred. I struck immediately with Tsuki, stunning Mr Phorms, and as his hands raised instinctively I moved effortlessly into Sankyo, twisting his wrist and forcing him to cry out in agony. Using all his forward momentum I spun him a full semi-circle before smashing him, headlong, into the hard surface of my desk.

I released Mr Phorms and watch him slide to the floor, his face bloodied and tearful.

"Do you know what they call that, Mr Phorms ?" I enquired, looking at my fallen opponent with disdain.

"No." He croaked, staring up at me, bloodied and beaten.

"Denial Of Service, Mr Phorms, Denial Of Service."

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/ispphorm/

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