Simon Pegg and Me.

Now, I like Simon Pegg. He's funny, loyal to his mates and he's even got a cheeky little face. His TV show Spaced was fantastic and the films he's made with Edgar Wright have all been brilliant.

Which, of course, brings us on to Star Trek.

Do you remember the scene in Spaced where Pegg briliantly parodied Star Wars, mimicking the Vader cremation scene to such memorable effect, after the release of Attack Of The Clowns or whatever that stupid fucking film was called ?

Well Pegg, I hate to break it to you but the new Star Trek is horrible. The guy playing Kirk managed to make it so that I wanted Spock to kill him as soon as they appeared on screen together, then Vulcan death-grip himself.

The guy with the "Russian" accent - what the fuck was that about ?! The kid from Harold & Kumar - he sucked.

Eric Bana was wasted. Either that or he peaked with Chopper.

And you were shit an' all Pegg. I mean what the fuck was with that ? "I canne doit cap'n", "I'm givin' her all she got cap'n!" "She canne take no more cap'n."

I canne take no more at this point.

Talk about a Captains Log.